The Monday Column, April 14, 2025

I come from Lithuanian peasants.

BUSHWICK, New York – Yesterday, I spent Passover at my brother’s, where we skimmed through a slim, child-friendly edition of the Haggadah while my five-year-old nephew refused to ask the Four Questions, instead holding forth on the virtues of chocolate matzah. We wrapped up the Seder and started eating in all of ten minutes.

After the meal, I decided to ask my father—born in 1950 in Chicago—a few questions about his own experience as a kid at Passover.

You're ten years old and you've just sat down for Passover. What are you feeling?

I’m feeling anxiety and dread because I have to do the four questions in Hebrew, in the sing-song way that you have to say them. And I always feel I’ll never do it right and I feel pressure, even though no one really puts pressure on me. I start dreading it weeks before, so when I sit down, I’m looking forward to a long evening of feeling tense. We always went to my father’s side of the family, who consisted of my aunts Edith and Vera, my Zaide who spoke no English, my Uncle Ralph and my cousin Stacy. And of course my mother and [sister] Andi. And the thing would last forever until we ate. I couldn’t wait to get it over with.

Who's the Seder's presiding figure?

The presiding figure I guess was my grandfather, but because he spoke no English (he was from Lithuania) I never knew what was happening or how far we were into it.

What was being discussed?

No one would think to talk about anything, as I recall. We would just get through the Seder. No big undercurrent of anything because my Zaide was old world and into his own head. Perhaps the beginnings of dementia even.

It was like visiting family from a different culture. I just remember being uncomfortable, because I was shy and introverted.

How does the evening end?

When we finally finished the Haggadah and ate food, it was a pretty hasty retreat. Awkward but pleasant enough. It was really like a clash of cultures, with my father’s family being peasants from Lithuania.

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In other news…

For those of you that live in New York City–I’m hosting a Words and Music night at my apartment this Friday. Come enjoy readings, songs, and comedy from some talented artists. Shoot me a message for the address.

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Godspeed through the rest of the week.